More on bachelor parties…
You know what? I’m still not done talking about bachelor parties. There’s more to be said about that topic. I thought I was done, but I’m not. There’s more. Oh so much more, damnit!! So here I am to bring sexy back!! (sorry, … I’ve been listening to waay too much z-100.)
Anyways, … here’s another thing about bachelor parties. It’s not only the celebration of a glorious life of bachelor-ness(?) for the soon-to-be groom. It’s also an important occasion for your friends. It’s a time for all of your buddies to get together once again, and party like rock stars. Celebrate the good old days! As great of a time and as important the bachelor party is for the, well, … bachelor, … it’s also a very important event for all of his friends. Why? Because it’s a fool-proof, certifiable, irrefutable excuse for a man to get away from his wife or gf for a night or two, to drink like he did when he was a college freshman, be stupid and completely irresponsible without having his wife *roll* her eyes at him and say “Chi~~.” It’s a time where his wife won’t try to catch him riding dirty. (Ok. I’ll stop.)
And this is yet another difference between how chicks think, and how guys think. Chicks don’t understand this. Why? Because chicks think that the wedding, and everything associated with the wedding, is all about them. And in a way, for a chick, … it is. They can’t fully appreciate the fact that the bachelor party is as much about the bachelor as it is for his friends. For her, if she doesn’t want a bachelorette party, then she doesn’t have to have one. If she feels that male strippers are “icky,” they just won’t go to a strip joint. And that’s why she’ll sit there and think it’s perfectly ok to make ridiculous demands on the guy like, “you can have a bachelor party, but you can’t go to a strip club.” Or, “you can go to a strip club, but you can’t have a lap dance.” Or, “you can only have sex with one Thai hooker. But not two at the same time.” Just kidding about the last one. But seriously, they don’t understand that for guys, going to the strip club, getting a lapdance, drinking until you’re inebriated, is not really a choice. It’s what’s required. Why? Because you are a part of the group. You understand, as illogical as it may sound to some of you chicks, … that by going to the strip club, you’re giving happiness to your friends. By getting that lap dance, you give your friends something to smile about. By drinking until you pass the fuck out, you’re building memories that your buddies will smile about for years to come.
So this is a message to all you chicks getting married out there. And there seems to be quite a few of you on xanga. (on a side note, … why are all you engaged/married chicks subscribing to a sexist bastard like me? It seems like almost all of the last 20-30 subscribers have been married/engaged chicks.) Before you sit there and try to put a restriction on your future husbands, remember this. He’s going to have a bachelor party. There’s nothing you can do about that. He’s going to get lapdances. And most likely, a great many of them, depending on how many friends he has. There is also nothing you can do about this. It’s not because he doesn’t love you, or because he would rather spend time with a stripper. This is something he needs to do. And as convoluted as it may sound, it’s because he wants to be a good friend. And it’s because he has good friends. Great friends. So you can go ahead and make all the demands you want. But know this. By making these demands, all you’re asking for is a bad argument where the outcome becomes either him saying that you’re being unreasonable and that he’s going to do it anyways and that’s that, and you feeling really really upset, … or it’s going to be him saying ok, and complying to what you say, but then just ending up lying to you.
And on a side note, … for those guys that have gotten married without letting their buddies have the opportunity to throw him a bachelor party, … you are a bad, bad friend. A bad, BAD friend. SHAME ON YOU!!