May 19, 2005
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So a couple of days ago, I’m driving my sister to work in the morning. Before we start driving, we go to dunkin donuts to grab some breakfast. So I get a couple of donuts, while she gets herself a muffin. So we’re munching away in the car, and all’s fine and well.
So we’re about a block away from her work, and so starts to get herself ready to get out of the car. She hands me the dunkin donuts bag and says, … “Here, … there’s another donut in there that you didn’t eat yet, and I saved you a half a muffin.”
*Wow, … what a thoughtfully nice sister I have,* I thought to myself, as I was very grateful for her display of generosity. That she enjoyed her muffin so much so, … that she thought her muffin was so deliciously gratifying, … that she would actually SAVE HALF her muffin to give to her dear beloved brother. So share such simple joys of life!!
But to my horrific, ghastly, surprise, …. I look into the bag what do I find???? The BOTTOM HALF OF THE MUFFIN!!! The evil wench ate the good part, … the top of the muffin, … and left me the scraps! But that’s not what I was upset about. It was the fact that she’d go as far as to try and say that the bottom part of the muffin was actually what she’d consider half!
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!” I exclaimed. “This ain’t half a muffin, … you ate the good part, and left me muffin leftovers!”
To which she had the audacity to say, as she unctuously grinned like a used car salesman, … “What do you mean?? The bottom part of the muffin is the best part! It’s covered, … so it’s the protected part.”
Flabberghasted, I was left speechless. It’s not bad enough that she left the bottom part of the muffin. She then proceeded to try and sell it! Like she was doing me a friggin favor!! That’s like leaving me the apple core and saying, “here, … I saved you the best part of the apple! It’s the center! The middle part is always the best because it’s the center of the entire fruit!”
That’s some fucked up shit, I tell ya, … some fucked up shit. Next time I get a coke, I’m going to drink everything, leaving only the ice and tell her that I saved her some soda. That fucker.
Comments (36)
why are u trippin over a muffin……..your sister prob did it on purpose…….
This reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where they tried to make a bakery that only sold muffin tops. I hate muffin bottoms too…I always threw that crap away. I can’t believe your sister tried to pass on the muffin bottom to you as the best part. AHAHA…I like the way she thinks.
Hahaha evil.
hahahahahahaha…go sojin! that’s great. she just increased older sister points by 100.
that’s just a cruel. really. just thinking about it…. *shakes head*
but in all honesty, who cares? you don’t have tastebuds… what’s the difference between the top of the muffin and a log of shit?
lol…..your sister’s smart…she probably took in consideration that you are getting married…so the bottom half is um..less of fattening…?! *shrug..
haha thats awesome
you and susie are starting to both write about food…..hmmm..scary.
LMAO that’s hilarious…I’ve actually thrown the bottoms away…
bottom is good too, but i gotta tell yah.. im with you on that one.. she did eat the best part.. =) at least she saved you soemthing… dunkin donuts and coffee MMmmM
i don’t know why ppl like the tops of muffins. the bottoms are so much more moist.
hahaha that’s funyn as shit. bottom of the muffin = garbage.
was the bottom half all crumbled ?
who paid?
u ungreatful sonuvva…..
St.Louis Bread Company has now expanded into Pantera…and they have “Muffies” only muffin tops! It’s genius
so serious about your muffins…
It’s true…ONLY THE MUFFIN TOP IS THE TRUTH.
top o’ the muffin, to ya!
siblings are wonderful.
you’re an ass. you wonder why ryan wont kick for you. such anger over a muffin. but that is pretty damn funny…HAHAH. this is why i love your sister.
haha thats great
spacegrl is absolutely right…as time goes by, those two are slowly melding into one, really strange person. The corny jokes, the pictures of food…the fact that DocEvil is growing a vagina…
Haha, I actually like the bottom.
the top part of the muffin is way better than the crumby bottom part!
haha… yah made me think about that seinfeld episode too.
your sister offered you half of her muffin? Dude, taht’s illegal in like all lower 48 states and hawaii, too (they’re desperate up there in alaska).
What’s the big deal? It’s not like she regurgitated half the muffin and left that portion for you. ’Cos believe you me, I’ve seen that done.
rofl
Haha thats funny. It reminds me of Seinfield too.
hahahah that’s something i’ld do to my younger sibling if i had one
lol, nice story.
haha, funny icon, just leavin random propZzZ
<33Rachael
That’s hilarious! I’m gonna do that to my siblings too!
That is messed up. She got you good. I’d have wanted to fling the bag at her and then drive away.
i can see that you don’t update anymore. what happened you xanga whore? btw, how’s it going?
you mofo, i don’t talk to you for a couple of months and that’s all you have to say? btw, you’re dead at your bachelor party. game over buddy!
loved how she tried to pull it off as an act of kindness