In response to people’s questions of what’s wrong with having a daughter, I decided to form a Top 20 list of reasons of why I don’t want any daughters. So enjoy.
Top 20 Reasons Why I don’t want a daughter:
Little kids like to play “doctor.”
Girl’s clothes cost more, even at a young age.
I draw the line at Veronica Mars and Project Runway. If I have to sit there and watch Dora the Explorer too, I’m going to lose my shit.
I don’t ever want to hear the words “Daddy, … my body’s changing.”
Or, “Daddy, … I need a training bra.”
Or “Daddy, … there’s this real cute boy in school.”
I really don’t need to deal with another “time of month,” than I already have to.
Do you know how much handbags cost these days? Why would I want yet another person nagging me for a friggin bag?
People like Dirty Uncle Chy.
“Like, OMG, … does he like me? Or like me like me?”
I can’t make my daughter go outside and mow the lawn, or shovel the driveway. Ok, maybe I can, … but it won’t make me feel very good about it.
Have you ever watched Girls Gone Wild??
“Daddy, when you’re at Costco, can you pick me up the big box of tampons?”
Guys like me back in college.
OK, … guys like me back in HS.
OK fine, … the fact that guys like me in general exist.
The fact that stores like Victoria Secret exist.
It’s a horrible feeling to know that I’ll be contributing to the downfall of society by introducing to the world another chick driver.
It’s going to be really time consuming to have to drive her from the convent to the library back and forth everyday.
How am I supposed to go around being a chauvinist when I have a daughter that I’m trying to protect?
