December 8, 2005
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So as I’m sitting here, eating a big mac and sipping on a coke, I start thinking about the events that just unfolded 10 minutes ago, from my walk back from McDonalds in Harlem. I sit here and think to myself, … “damn, … why didn’t I come up with something more clever??”
So let me fill you in on what happened. I’m walking down the street, with my bag of McDonalds in my hand, walking back to work. I’m happily walking along, minding my own business, thinking about how delicious this big mac will taste, when all of a sudden I hear, … “AWWWWHATTAWHATTA CHONG CHING CHING GAWAHH….”
So I look around to see what idiot was making these noises, and find a moron with his head poking out of a minivan window (stuck at a red) apparently extremely elated to make retarded noises. I also noticed that his idiot friends also found pleasure in this as they were laughing up a storm.
So what do I do? It’s like a friggin natural reaction. I know there are a million responses to this, but the first and only thing that came to mind was to grab my crotch and yell, … “EAT ME!”
Yeah, … real classy. I know. To which the rest of the morons found even more entertaining and laughed even harder, because they now know that they bothered me.
And as the light turns green and they drive away laughing, I think to myself, … “God damnit! Is that the best you could come up with?” Eat me. Maybe it was because I was, in actuality, very hungry, and hence that was the first thing that came to mind. But still, … I would think, with all of my education, with all of the smart witty comments that mea nd my friends say to each other, I would think that I could come up with something even a little more intelligent off the cuff.
And as I walk back I think, why couldn’t you have said something like, … “What? Really? Your mother fucks goats?” Or “Wow, … thanks for telling me that your penis is too small.” Or, “Thank you, but I don’t swing that way.” I mean, … there were a million things I could have said!
Or I could have just made fun of the fact that the idiot was trying to stick his head out of one of those child safety windows that don’t open all the way. So many comebacks!! But no. I grabbed my crotch and yelled out “EAT ME!”
And this big mac isn’t nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be.
Comments (16)
all the mexican and black kids would do that to me growing up and it would piss me off so much!! i wish i could have beat all their asses. if only i weren’t so scared of them.
i remember why i fell in love with you
wow, you’re like bart simpson.
well, what’s really the best way to fight ignorance? I doubt any witty comments you could have come back with would’ve made the situation any better. They were just crusing for a victim and you just fit the profile. oh wells.
eat me? isnt that what girls say? ……..you shoulda said…….suck on this bitch!!…..
No matter how witty a response, those retards will still find it funny.
omg, your entry made me laugh so hard.. but your wife’s comment made me laugh even harder! and didn’t bart simpson say, “eat my shorts”?
“hey bitch, I’m rich… and you’re poor. PUAHAHAHAHAHA”
once you laugh bigger than them, you win.
Or you could’ve screamed out as loud as you can, “Hey everyone… look at the retard sticking his head out the window!”
once again, laugh as loud as you can and you win.
hahahahahahhahaha…..eat me!!! hahahahahahahhaha
you should’ve added “NOT” at the end to make it extra witty/classy.
Haha, what nublets.
the same shit happened to me last winter with some white chicks. i was already having a shitty day so when did this, i camly went to pick up a snow ball and then proceeded to throw it into their open window. sucks though, i missed b/c they drove off.
hopefully next time i’ll have time to pee on the snow first and i’ll have better aim.
but then you’ll be upset that you wasted wit on retards.
i agree about the big mac. they must’ve cheapened up on that secret sauce. speaking of cheap, they just rename it mac. it’s in no way, shape, or form- big.
AHAHAHAHA…eat me. classic.
not really cause skating requires you to slide your feet to move forward. I was literally just sliding down the overpass, similar to skiing haha
We had room 17. The best part was that I think it’s meant to be a shared villa because the pools were connected, but since the bottom villa was empty, we had the whole private pool area to ourselves. Is that what y’all had too?? I do remember thinking that y’alls pics were just like ours too.