So, ... I started noticing that my hairline was receding back in High School. It wasn't a big deal then, since I still had a lot of hair, and the receding hairline wasn't too bad. Just a little more pronounced on the side temple areas of my head, almost like it made a weird outstretched "m" shape for my hairline. Sure, my buddies used to joke about it saying, "dude, ... you're gonna be bald in five years!" Or the more clever fuckers used to come up with shit like "dude, ... if you stick a flashlight up your ass, we can signal for batman!" But, everyone knew that I wasn't the poster child for teenage balding by any means. And I'm proud to say, that I've been able to outlast my eventual hair demise much longer than I had anticipated. I always thought by the time I was 25 or even 30 that I'd be full blown bald. *** full blown bald = when you make balding jokes about yourself, people stop saying "oh, you're not bald, ... stop." Very much akin to full blown fat - when your friends stop making fun of you about how fat you're becoming. But now that I'm 33, I guess I've finally fell from my questionable balding status, 
and have entered the full blown bald status, 
when a few weeks back I got a call from one of my father's friends. Now, this guy is like George Jefferson bald. Like, doesn't even have enough hair to do a comb over, bald. So this guy calls me and tells me that he spoke to my mother and she suggested that he come over to show me this shampoo that he's been using that's been working wonders on his hair. Normally, I'd brush people like this off, but since this guy was my father's friend, I decided to be nice and told him to stop by. So he comes by to my office carrying a friggin delux sized suitcase FILLED with hair products. A whole suitcase FULL of products! I mean this suitcase was friggin HUGE! So big that this old man couldn't lift it up the stairs by himself, big! So he gets to my office, and the first thing he says is "look at my hair!" And I guess I could see a difference, ... I mean, the guy was completey bald, but then he had a like 10-20 strands of really thick black hair on the middle of his head. He grew the hairs really long to make it a somewhat quasi-comb-over, except for the fact that he still had too few hairs to even justify a comb over. It just looked messy, and it really, ... he still just looked ... bald. And he's sitting there going on and on about how much hair he's grown in the past few months and because he seemed really proud of himself for it, that I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's still, ... bald. So I compliment him on his new "tuft" of hair and then he proceeds to show me every single hair product he has been using to cultivate these precious locks on his head. I listen as he takes out an electric scalp stimulating gizmo, and proceeds to demonstrate how to use it, and how he shows me all of these differnt tonics to rub into my scalp, morning and night. After about an hour of this (I reallly didn't even have the hour to waste to begin with), I bought a $40 bottle of shampoo and rushed him out of my office because I was being innundated with phone calls. After he left, I started thinking about all these hair loss products out there and realized that even though some of these products work sometimes, it's going to be extremely rare that you're ever really going to recover your head of hair like you were 18 years old. Most of the time, even if the "product" works, you'll end up becoming that "bald guy with a few strands of hair on his head," which in reality, is not so much different from just being that "bald guy." Anyways, so the moral of the story? I don't know. I guess is that if nature wants you to be bald, there's really not much you can do about it. Just go along gracefully. It's just a matter how how you want to handle it. Personally, I've decided to just go along with it until I can just completely shave my head. That, and work out a lot. Sure, I guess I could just shave it off now, ... but it's difficult for a skinny asian guy like me to pull off completely-shaved-bald. I'd have to be a bit stockier, like John, to be able to pull that off. If not, I'll end up looking like one of those buddhist monks that you see in the airports. 
That's all for now you homos. Hope everyone's been well. | 
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